2010

it's like gold dust...

new year.

Soon the new year starts, so now's a great time to:

1. Wipe the slate clean.
2. Focus upon what you really want.
3. Chart your course.

Right?

Well... only if you want to risk having to repeat these steps for the same wishes next year! Maybe this is splitting hairs, but here's an adventurous alternative:

1. Give thanks that life is... just as it is (and that it's been... just as it's been). Because of it, you're now "READY."

2. Define what you want in terms of the end result. Don't worry about the hows, or even the course. KNOW that what you want is ALREADY yours in spirit, by divine LAW, just focus on the certainty of this ownership, understand it, claim it, and "it will be on earth, as it is in heaven (spirit)."

3. LET THE UNIVERSE show you the way via your impulses and instincts that appear as you take inspired action. Don't worry that your first steps seem silly or futile. And if you don't know what to do, do anything! Go! Get busy! Do not insist on intermediary successes, only upon the end result.

2011 is going to be your year (it already is),
The Universe

i adore you.

distance.

hoping.

to be happy.

The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.

— Marcel Pagnol

miracles.

There are only miracles. And to one degree or another they all soothe, pamper, and enrich. However, to avoid blowing too many minds at once, some are disguised as unpleasant surprises, botched circumstances, and twisted aquaintances that can rarely be seen for who or what they are until the pendulum has fully swung.



So if something still hurts, baffles, or confuses, it only means a miracle has occured, the pendulum is mid-swing, and that soon you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.



Yes.. don't I think of everything?


-The Universe

sadness.

Have you noticed, Alexa, that sadness in your life has never, ever, not even once, lasted?

It's impossible.

Whoohoooooo!

-The Universe

let go.

Everyone in your life is meant to be a part of your journey, but not all of them are bound to stay. Most often, you have to let people go.

sooner or later.

November 17, 2010-
That sooner or later is now. and a complete mess is what I'm becoming. I feel like the god's in that one movie where they're crazy. But it's me, I'm the crazy one. It's almost unexplainable. I almost feel wrong for how I feel. Was this supposed to happen to me like this? I don't know what is going on inside me right now but the constant battle to suppress it, to go on with life because I have to, is killing me. How is it that the only person I've ever truly loved, the person that has changed my life around without me realizing it, the person I would do anything for, change my life plans for- is leaving me. It's the most unusual circumstances, I don't even know how to cope. He' s not leaving me for someone else, or because (I hope) he doesn't want to be with me anymore. He is leaving me for the world.

I can't compete with that. In fact I am envious of him. I wish I were the one leaving him for the world. But I'm left here, to fend for myself. Once again. But this time I know love, its beauty, its warmth, its power. and I feel like it's all being torn from me.. I can't believe this person I've become. Just who I thought I wouldn't. It's hard to keep your cool when you're madly in love with someone. Mine is long gone.. and real soon I'm going to be left standing on the side of the road, bags in hand, middle of nowhere, hitching a ride back to independencville. It's gonna be a long, hard, bumpy road and maybe, hopefully, love can find me there again. xx

typical story.